She came into the hospital suicidal. Having been to this psychiatric hospital a few times before, done therapy, been on various medications, nothing had worked and now she was done. When I came in for my shift, I was assigned to sit with her as she wouldn’t get out of bed to attend any of her therapy groups, and they wanted to know she was safe.
I went into her bedroom, the curtains drawn to block out the light, and sat in a chair next to her bed as she lay immobile. She repeated to me what she had told the nursing staff, “There’s no point to go to therapy, it doesn’t work, medication doesn’t work, nothing works.”
Her hopelessness melted my heart as I remembered the time I had felt that way. “Yeah, I get it. I don’t have any answers, I have been there and it was the worst. I can tell you what I did though, I don’t know if it’s any help, but I’ll share it in case it may be.
I was brought to my knees in hopelessness, like you, having done therapy, learned spiritual principles, and yet none of it had changed the pain inside me. In the midst of the hopelessness though, came the unshakable clarity that God was my only reason to live and with that as the light in my inner darkness, I knew the way out of the pain was to live my life for God first every day. I also knew, and I don’t know if this is important to you or not, it was important for me to make the commitment in the Name and Spirit of Jesus Christ. Then I had to figure out how to actually do this…”
I kept talking, and as I did, the room filled with a swirling Light energy; everything including “solid” objects like her bed and my chair, the floor, the walls, as well as both of us, were in this swirling pure Light. I was now in the witness state, outside of my body observing the Light, watching myself talking. Then all at once I knew it was done. It was a definitive knowing not a vague hope and without another word, I got up and walked out of the room.
About 10 minutes later, as I worked at the nursing stage across from her room, she emerged. The curtains were opened behind her, she was dressed with make-up on, and she shined with a big smile on her face. “Do you know where my group is?” I pointed her in the direction, and off she went to continue her journey of healing in the human realm, even as the healing had already happened spiritually.
May we all open to God’s healing light during the dark times of our lives.
To God be the glory.
Reflections of the Heart 